Here I am wandering in the cyber-space again, taking in unwanted information that would only serve to over-stimulate my busied and cluttered mind. I have been waking up to deep swirls of confusion every morning, trying to make out what is real and what had been a bad dream.

Some days ago, I had the worst nightmare ever. I dreamt that I was possessed and died a violent death from drowning. I heard a strange voice trying to forewarn me about getting close to the waters. Having no control over myself, I couldn't escape from that tragic fate. I remembered vividly how painful it was a process to die, with no control over my actions. My fingers tried to grasp, but the indefinite liquid just slipped through my fingers, with my chest beating and breaking into painful bursts. I woke up, numbed by fear, wondering whether I was dead, and resurrected in another dimension. Dying felt so real.

Just this morning, I was jolted awake by my alarm clock from another violent dream, of myself running away on a dangerous aircraft. I didn't really know where I was heading, but for sure, I was dodging from something that was watching me. All these night-long dreams I had sure made me wonder if I even slept a wink at all these nights.

It felt as if, with every effort I have gathered to focus on the mad run of figures at work, those characters on my screen just seemed to jump about with a proportionate amount of enthusasium. My concentration just had to melt and dissolve into an even murky concoction as the day wore on. I could hardly make it past lunch time. It was a tempting thought to just make up some excuses and go home early to catch up on sleep. I just knew I couldn't do that. My staff seemed to be much more productive than me, and I'm pretty sure it's only a matter of time for my facade to break, and everyone would be able to read my weary looks like a book.

Sometimes, I really have the urge to just push over the table and announce that I had enough. Or probably flash that vulgar finger at everyone and say, "FxxK all of you", before I take off in a flight? Two friends of mine have already told me that they're ditching their unhappiness (from work) and looking elsewhere. I just want some quiet time to think about what really makes me happy. FxxK that degree that I'm working on if I need to. If finance or accounting isn't my cup of tea, fxxk it then. Why would I care about something as superficial as having a great career to show off, when there isn't one bit of happiness left inside me.

I can barely make it to the end of the financial year. With 22 more days to go, I'm already huffing and puffing from the annoyance of unrelated people, and my bosses (if you don't already know, my work encompasses a wide scope. IN ADDITION to the already overloaded duties within the Accounts Department, and sometimes Front Office issues, I'm also required to deal with HR matters, involving the dirty job of handling unhappy and unreasonable people. And yes, fxxk you all for non-stop harrassment).

There's just not much fight left in me to meet the deadlines and handle the auditors when the time comes. Wish I could really run away, to a place where no one knows me.

FxxK, FxxK, FxxK!

Travelling and loving life...

After many nights of reading bits and pieces in my half-asleep state in bed, I've finally finished "Ooh La La! A French Romp" by Ann Rickard. As promised in the synopsis, it was a great read, based on the hilarious narration of an anxious first-time tour operator, taking a group of eight to explore Southern France. It makes me fall deeper in love with France, and painted an image beyond the Effiel Tower, or the glittering luxury boutiques of Paris, but of true accented charm of the so-french streets, culinary appreciation and bustling markets in the greater region outside of the city.

I have even found a photo gallery that gave visual descriptives of the tour!

Someone made a comment about anyone who loves France is one that has shallow obessesions for superficial creations. I beg to differ. In my opinion, I think loving, embracing and preserving any beautiful things in life is celebration of life in its own league.

Only wish I could realise a grand trip, and have as much exciting tales to write about! If only I could cast away the cares of what'd happen at work, and not think about tomorrow for just as long as the span of my trip... Only if I could spend some days doing nothing at all, but just lazing by the pool, enjoying the foreign landscape, and translating my beautiful adventures into lively tales on my laptop.

As it is, beautiful things can happen, only if you allow it to. I'll have to think of a way somehow then.

Now, I'm starting on a new book, Bitting the Big Apple, by Bella Vendramini. It's a book about New York, one of the most exciting cities in the world! With so many places tagged on my mind, I probably should stop spending on handbags and shoes, and learn to save up to realise my dreams of a globe-trotter.

In the meantime, I'm satisfied enough to try make each day as fulfilling as possible. Be it chasing the beauty of nature, or just appreciating the simplicity of life. It feels good whenever I could let let myself have the chance to sit back and watch the world go by, in such a fashion where time and space become not a subject to me.

I have been pretty satisfied with my Saturday.

Temporary Relief

All work no play does really make me quite a dull toy...

At least, since crossing the big hurdle of handling clashes of exams and work deadlines, I felt much better. And perhaps good enough for a lil' celebration of some sort.

It was a ridiculous amount of dining out the week before, trying out new places in Busso, and attending a birthday celebration in Bunbury. The following weekend was a getaway to Perth City for more dining and shopping. If you don't already know Busso (or Busselton in full), it is a tourist region that is a 3-hour drive, south of Perth City. After living for 2 years in WA, I thought it'd be quite strange if I were to announce that it's my first visit to King's Street ( a renowned area that is lined with luxury boutiques and top local designers stores). And everywhere's on sale just before xmas- a sure sign of bad times!

Anyway, King Street is lovely. We (SL and I) stopped by a chic side-walk cafe to rest our feet from shopping, and I love doing people-watching there. Needless to say, I'm totally in love with the awesome street scene.

I'm spending way too much, as if the recession doesn't exist at all. But according the multiplying effect of a dollar, I'm actually doing the economy some good isn't it? Plus, when inflation is higher than bank interest rates, what good does your money serves sitting in the bank? Hard to explain... but I'm really not being funny, esp after finishing a whole SP on Econs, I think I'm being pretty rational here.

Oh well, I'll save that for another day =P

If there's anything about working in hospitality line has done for me, I'd say the perks (ie. good food at no cost), had fatten me up quite a bit!

Look who's talking about ill-controlled buying impulse!

(Above: You won't believe that this was taken in Perth City!)

It's the most beautiful time of the year!

Got this at the 30% Bally Sales. I'd say it's the most decent amount of money to spend on shoes, made out of soft calfskin leather, and heavenly to wear!

Don't ever catch me winge about waiting for others, when I'm usually the one who is late!

Dessert at Hilton (below) was great! It's worth every cent!

And thanks Ju, for putting us up at your place. It's a lovely place, and I like the idea of doing some aromatherapy while in the shower! It's a bliss!

Ask me what I have been up to, and I'd probably think food and shopping straight away!

I must have been overeating, and now there's the excess weight gained I have to be worried about. I can't explain the bi-polarity of the consequence on diet when a person is overtly stressed. One might starve, and the other (ME, in particular), tend to over-eat.

My appetite must have grown sizeably, since I left Singapore. In the past, I could not even finish my favourite Macdonalds hotcakes meal for brekky. I'd usually feel full after eating two hotcakes, and have got to bin the rest (including the barely-touched hash brown). But now, I could wolf down everything, including the cuppa that comes with the meal! And I wonder why I'm fat!

Food and dining out is becoming more and more like a culture to me, especially after being in the hospitality industry for a while by now. I chat with top chefs, and analyse how certain dishes are made when I'm out with SL for meals. He's got an amazing culinary knowledge, and seems to know what ingredients go into the preparation of mouth-watering dishes. Nowadays, where fusion food have become so ever popular, we do get the essence of interesting cooking combinations.

So, the week before was 4 days of dining out, with 2-course meals minimum! That certainly bides well for my tummy huh!

We gave Del-Casa a try for the very first time, and aren't disappointed at all! The dining atmosphere was splendid too, with a strong old-fashioned Italian taste. Just what it should be!

Yummy-licious plates from my very own workplace's restaurant! It's gotta be one of the best in town. You've gotta visit if you happen to drop by in Busso. The plentiful greens stretch for acres, which makes it ideal to go for after-dinner stroll. And there's private access to the beach too! Isn't that precisely what makes the spring/ summery weather delightful? =)

Both spots are in Busselton, Western Australia. Drop me a line if you need details =) Happy eating!

Ain't I'm disgusted by the "cost-slashing" strategy adopted by many unethical companies in times of recession! Or rather has it always been the usual practice to put others to disadvantage and let the gains roll into their own pockets?

Talk about selfishness, upon receiving a letter that brought back memories of what happened more than 10 months ago, that incident had come back, to haunt me again. The selfish and vicious act of two individuals, conspired out of the motivation for self gains, has brought much grief for many others who were innocently involved. I remembered vividly the heavy heart I carried with me to work the next day, after the deeds have been exposed (the evil duo wouldn't have expected that someone has found out about them). I was utterly disgusted and disappointed, to know about the truth of how the world actually works.

Have I seen enough for someone of my age, or is there more to come? That question, I can't answer, and let alone think about it at all!

No doubt that incident has not affected me physically, my faint little heart just can't take such acts betrayals. Perhaps that eventful day, 10 months ago, has brought about the turning point in my life. I have lost trust in humanity. We humans are nothing at all. Although we had god-given priviledges to feel, we have chosen to ignore our emotions for others. The emotive drive of compassion is so fragile- a gift that we have perhaps thrown away at the early stages of life, as soon as the slightest competition is spotted. Have we, the miserable mankind, been reduced to just wanting to feel the glory of victory, and nothing else at all? Is it something worth abandoning everything else for?

Little did I realise, what I thought would be the last I'd have heard about that event, have resurfaced, affecting 2 others.

Anyway, I've been pretty sick, but still dragging myself to the horrible workplace, and having to face disgusting people. What's new? Am I not told that everywhere's the same, and give up that unreal positive thought of looking for somewhere-a-bit-more-pleasant?

Why don't we deserve to even try to find happiness, not in the wake of a glorious victory in a meaningless competition in today's world, but in being true to ourselves, and act abit more responsible to others?

If only the world works this way...