Live, Love and Laugh: Christmas and reflections

It was a frustrating Christmas Eve, with lots to finish at work, and I really didn't plan to leave early. My stifled emotions had a grip on me that afternoon. I weeped a few tears of anger, and decided to call it a day.

The rest of the afternoon was spent on gorging a ridiculous amount of (unhealthy) food. I was about to open up a bottle of wine, when SL came home. He wanted us out for dinner. I didn't want to take those negativity out on him, like a wild and uncontrollable fire.

So, I arrived at the restaurant, dressed in my bright red maxi dress, munching on a huge bowl of caesar, almost believing that I could eat up all of my unhappiness and forget about them. The restaurant was pretty quiet. As I understand, Christmas is a family affair over here. Somehow, the festive season has made my emptiness more pronounced than ever.

Despite the big plans of having SL's family over for the long weekend, I felt really upset inside me. A lot of thoughts came across my mind as I playfully swirl the glass of water. With the year coming to a close soon, the inevitable question popped up- how can I make my life better?

At this time of the year, most corporations would have finalised off their budgets. For those who are familiar with budgeting, they would have realised that it would be impossible to even start punching figures on your spreadsheet without knowing the general direction set for the upcoming year(s). With a common general direction in place, managers can then work out the kind of goals (or challenges) they would like to set for themselves, and the action plans to achieve them.

I now have a critical question to answer- what is going to be the general direction for my life next year? What kind of goals I need to achieve for myself, in order to fulfil this direction I have set for my own life, in order to live it up, for the betterment of my physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being? And what action plans?

For all I know now, as simple as it is, I would like to be happy and emotionally healthy. It is going to be a life-long direction for myself. I need to be realistic with my goals. Too many goals can cloud the direction that was once clear and straight-forward. A goal that is too challenging to tackle at a given stage in life will only set your morale and motivation for life back.

As human, we can only strive to achieve our goals, set aside time for self-evaluation, re-align our goals if neccessary. More importantly, we fight, and learn. We become stronger as we confront ourselves from time to time, keep our undue fears and worries checked.

2009 might be gloomy as predicted. But all I hope is that it will get better for me, as I shut the noise out from others, who tried to direct me with what is best for me. I appreciate the kind thoughts and advice. But, I'm the rightful one to make decisions for myself and take responsibilities for them. After all, it's really my life.

"Life is short, so be very happy"

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Some photos to balance up the serious tone of this post...

Dinner at Spinnakers Cafe- 18th Dec