Tuesday, December 30

Yes, I have changed my blog's banner, and given it a fresh coat of colour... For a new look in preparation of 2009. Hee, it sure looks cheery, but abit too pinkish to my liking. Oh well, will do something about it later.

I'm not going to have enough time to enjoy the transition from 2008 to 2009. In fact, it might be quite a wobbly start for the new year as I'm now paying the price for procrastination, and the depressive mood that has inadvertently affected my work performance. Never mind about the hyper-activity I'm suffering from overdose of MSG from my instant noodles and canned soups, the big heap of work that is going to creep into the weekends, the 16-hour day I'm expecting for tomorrow, or waking up early in the morning for the mad rush on New Year's day. And scrap the crazy week leading up to the audit which clashes with my assignment deadline too.

The bottomline is, I'm making it happen... I'm going to be a carefree sparrow next year. The long haul of breaks from work, and catching up with people I care (my sis, my family, Ag, Map, Amy, the uni bunch, the poly bunch, you girls are all included, hehe...) I'm going to travel a bit too, perhaps a trip or two by myself to somewhere I have never been before.
Unrealistic goal it may sound. There's always a time to make up for the pain one goes through and the hard slog I have put in for the past one and a half year. I have learnt quite a lot, but it's time to think about the passion I'd like to pursue this lifetime =)


Photos from Sat's lunch at Wise Winery (they were the sponsors for our Melbourne Cup Lunch, remember?)...


Wineries have some of the best dining experience, ranging from great table service to atmosphere, and of course great food to go with the wine recommendations.

The Margaret River Wine region is dotted with so many fine wineries that I would recommend visitors to be selective if you are just planning for a day trip. Do your homework well. It's only natural that many would opt for the top ones that sit on spectacular estates. With trial and error, and the help of recommendations from friends, one will find a few personal favourites from the huge lot. I love Margaret River for its upmarket wine and dine experience =) When the bill came to a $100.00 for just entree-sized lunch of 2, I wasn't at all surprised!

What's more, there're equally many wonderful sights around the region.









Bunker's Bay

Saturday, December 27

Christmas and reflections

It was a frustrating Christmas Eve, with lots to finish at work, and I really didn't plan to leave early. My stifled emotions had a grip on me that afternoon. I weeped a few tears of anger, and decided to call it a day.


The rest of the afternoon was spent on gorging a ridiculous amount of (unhealthy) food. I was about to open up a bottle of wine, when SL came home. He wanted us out for dinner. I didn't want to take those negativity out on him, like a wild and uncontrollable fire.


So, I arrived at the restaurant, dressed in my bright red maxi dress, munching on a huge bowl of caesar, almost believing that I could eat up all of my unhappiness and forget about them. The restaurant was pretty quiet. As I understand, Christmas is a family affair over here. Somehow, the festive season has made my emptiness more pronounced than ever.


Despite the big plans of having SL's family over for the long weekend, I felt really upset inside me. A lot of thoughts came across my mind as I playfully swirl the glass of water. With the year coming to a close soon, the inevitable question popped up- how can I make my life better?


At this time of the year, most corporations would have finalised off their budgets. For those who are familiar with budgeting, they would have realised that it would be impossible to even start punching figures on your spreadsheet without knowing the general direction set for the upcoming year(s). With a common general direction in place, managers can then work out the kind of goals (or challenges) they would like to set for themselves, and the action plans to achieve them.


I now have a critical question to answer- what is going to be the general direction for my life next year? What kind of goals I need to achieve for myself, in order to fulfil this direction I have set for my own life, in order to live it up, for the betterment of my physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being? And what action plans?


For all I know now, as simple as it is, I would like to be happy and emotionally healthy. It is going to be a life-long direction for myself. I need to be realistic with my goals. Too many goals can cloud the direction that was once clear and straight-forward. A goal that is too challenging to tackle at a given stage in life will only set your morale and motivation for life back.


As human, we can only strive to achieve our goals, set aside time for self-evaluation, re-align our goals if neccessary. More importantly, we fight, and learn. We become stronger as we confront ourselves from time to time, keep our undue fears and worries checked.


2009 might be gloomy as predicted. But all I hope is that it will get better for me, as I shut the noise out from others, who tried to direct me with what is best for me. I appreciate the kind thoughts and advice. But, I'm the rightful one to make decisions for myself and take responsibilities for them. After all, it's really my life.




"Life is short, so be very happy"



*****************************************************************************


Some photos to balance up the serious tone of this post...





Dinner at Spinnakers Cafe- 18th Dec












Christmas Eve Dinner- Spinnakers Cafe







Christmas function lunch






Wednesday, December 24

Time is running tight. Just a couple more days to go before I close off the financial year. I could feel this immense load pressing against my chest. It only gets heavier by the day. I haven't been sleeping well, and I'm clouded by this daze all day. I couldn't do a thing at all today. It's becoming a real chore to force my mind back and work on what I should be doing. Not even on the road (Holy shit, believe it or not, I almost hit someone today. I must never drive again in this state).

Well, I guess at this stage, I'm ready to walk out. It just seem like nothing matters to me anymore. Not my career, not my studies, not love, not hatred... Absolutely nothing!

Dear Santa, all I wish for Christmas is to run away from here...

Friday, December 19

Here I am wandering in the cyber-space again, taking in unwanted information that would only serve to over-stimulate my busied and cluttered mind. I have been waking up to deep swirls of confusion every morning, trying to make out what is real and what had been a bad dream.

Some days ago, I had the worst nightmare ever. I dreamt that I was possessed and died a violent death from drowning. I heard a strange voice trying to forewarn me about getting close to the waters. Having no control over myself, I couldn't escape from that tragic fate. I remembered vividly how painful it was a process to die, with no control over my actions. My fingers tried to grasp, but the indefinite liquid just slipped through my fingers, with my chest beating and breaking into painful bursts. I woke up, numbed by fear, wondering whether I was dead, and resurrected in another dimension. Dying felt so real.

Just this morning, I was jolted awake by my alarm clock from another violent dream, of myself running away on a dangerous aircraft. I didn't really know where I was heading, but for sure, I was dodging from something that was watching me. All these night-long dreams I had sure made me wonder if I even slept a wink at all these nights.

It felt as if, with every effort I have gathered to focus on the mad run of figures at work, those characters on my screen just seemed to jump about with a proportionate amount of enthusasium. My concentration just had to melt and dissolve into an even murky concoction as the day wore on. I could hardly make it past lunch time. It was a tempting thought to just make up some excuses and go home early to catch up on sleep. I just knew I couldn't do that. My staff seemed to be much more productive than me, and I'm pretty sure it's only a matter of time for my facade to break, and everyone would be able to read my weary looks like a book.

Sometimes, I really have the urge to just push over the table and announce that I had enough. Or probably flash that vulgar finger at everyone and say, "FxxK all of you", before I take off in a flight? Two friends of mine have already told me that they're ditching their unhappiness (from work) and looking elsewhere. I just want some quiet time to think about what really makes me happy. FxxK that degree that I'm working on if I need to. If finance or accounting isn't my cup of tea, fxxk it then. Why would I care about something as superficial as having a great career to show off, when there isn't one bit of happiness left inside me.

I can barely make it to the end of the financial year. With 22 more days to go, I'm already huffing and puffing from the annoyance of unrelated people, and my bosses (if you don't already know, my work encompasses a wide scope. IN ADDITION to the already overloaded duties within the Accounts Department, and sometimes Front Office issues, I'm also required to deal with HR matters, involving the dirty job of handling unhappy and unreasonable people. And yes, fxxk you all for non-stop harrassment).

There's just not much fight left in me to meet the deadlines and handle the auditors when the time comes. Wish I could really run away, to a place where no one knows me.

FxxK, FxxK, FxxK!

Sunday, December 14

Travelling and loving life...


After many nights of reading bits and pieces in my half-asleep state in bed, I've finally finished "Ooh La La! A French Romp" by Ann Rickard. As promised in the synopsis, it was a great read, based on the hilarious narration of an anxious first-time tour operator, taking a group of eight to explore Southern France. It makes me fall deeper in love with France, and painted an image beyond the Effiel Tower, or the glittering luxury boutiques of Paris, but of true accented charm of the so-french streets, culinary appreciation and bustling markets in the greater region outside of the city.


I have even found a photo gallery that gave visual descriptives of the tour!


Someone made a comment about anyone who loves France is one that has shallow obessesions for superficial creations. I beg to differ. In my opinion, I think loving, embracing and preserving any beautiful things in life is celebration of life in its own league.


Only wish I could realise a grand trip, and have as much exciting tales to write about! If only I could cast away the cares of what'd happen at work, and not think about tomorrow for just as long as the span of my trip... Only if I could spend some days doing nothing at all, but just lazing by the pool, enjoying the foreign landscape, and translating my beautiful adventures into lively tales on my laptop.


As it is, beautiful things can happen, only if you allow it to. I'll have to think of a way somehow then.


Now, I'm starting on a new book, Bitting the Big Apple, by Bella Vendramini. It's a book about New York, one of the most exciting cities in the world! With so many places tagged on my mind, I probably should stop spending on handbags and shoes, and learn to save up to realise my dreams of a globe-trotter.


In the meantime, I'm satisfied enough to try make each day as fulfilling as possible. Be it chasing the beauty of nature, or just appreciating the simplicity of life. It feels good whenever I could let let myself have the chance to sit back and watch the world go by, in such a fashion where time and space become not a subject to me.
I have been pretty satisfied with my Saturday.

Wednesday, December 10

Temporary Relief

All work no play does really make me quite a dull toy...

At least, since crossing the big hurdle of handling clashes of exams and work deadlines, I felt much better. And perhaps good enough for a lil' celebration of some sort.

It was a ridiculous amount of dining out the week before, trying out new places in Busso, and attending a birthday celebration in Bunbury. The following weekend was a getaway to Perth City for more dining and shopping. If you don't already know Busso (or Busselton in full), it is a tourist region that is a 3-hour drive, south of Perth City. After living for 2 years in WA, I thought it'd be quite strange if I were to announce that it's my first visit to King's Street ( a renowned area that is lined with luxury boutiques and top local designers stores). And everywhere's on sale just before xmas- a sure sign of bad times!

Anyway, King Street is lovely. We (SL and I) stopped by a chic side-walk cafe to rest our feet from shopping, and I love doing people-watching there. Needless to say, I'm totally in love with the awesome street scene.

I'm spending way too much, as if the recession doesn't exist at all. But according the multiplying effect of a dollar, I'm actually doing the economy some good isn't it? Plus, when inflation is higher than bank interest rates, what good does your money serves sitting in the bank? Hard to explain... but I'm really not being funny, esp after finishing a whole SP on Econs, I think I'm being pretty rational here.

Oh well, I'll save that for another day =P

If there's anything about working in hospitality line has done for me, I'd say the perks (ie. good food at no cost), had fatten me up quite a bit!

Look who's talking about ill-controlled buying impulse!

(Above: You won't believe that this was taken in Perth City!)

It's the most beautiful time of the year!

Got this at the 30% Bally Sales. I'd say it's the most decent amount of money to spend on shoes, made out of soft calfskin leather, and heavenly to wear!

Don't ever catch me winge about waiting for others, when I'm usually the one who is late!

Dessert at Hilton (below) was great! It's worth every cent!

And thanks Ju, for putting us up at your place. It's a lovely place, and I like the idea of doing some aromatherapy while in the shower! It's a bliss!

Tuesday, December 9

Ask me what I have been up to, and I'd probably think food and shopping straight away!


I must have been overeating, and now there's the excess weight gained I have to be worried about. I can't explain the bi-polarity of the consequence on diet when a person is overtly stressed. One might starve, and the other (ME, in particular), tend to over-eat.


My appetite must have grown sizeably, since I left Singapore. In the past, I could not even finish my favourite Macdonalds hotcakes meal for brekky. I'd usually feel full after eating two hotcakes, and have got to bin the rest (including the barely-touched hash brown). But now, I could wolf down everything, including the cuppa that comes with the meal! And I wonder why I'm fat!


Food and dining out is becoming more and more like a culture to me, especially after being in the hospitality industry for a while by now. I chat with top chefs, and analyse how certain dishes are made when I'm out with SL for meals. He's got an amazing culinary knowledge, and seems to know what ingredients go into the preparation of mouth-watering dishes. Nowadays, where fusion food have become so ever popular, we do get the essence of interesting cooking combinations.


So, the week before was 4 days of dining out, with 2-course meals minimum! That certainly bides well for my tummy huh!


We gave Del-Casa a try for the very first time, and aren't disappointed at all! The dining atmosphere was splendid too, with a strong old-fashioned Italian taste. Just what it should be!



Yummy-licious plates from my very own workplace's restaurant! It's gotta be one of the best in town. You've gotta visit if you happen to drop by in Busso. The plentiful greens stretch for acres, which makes it ideal to go for after-dinner stroll. And there's private access to the beach too! Isn't that precisely what makes the spring/ summery weather delightful? =)

Both spots are in Busselton, Western Australia. Drop me a line if you need details =) Happy eating!